I'm not really going to attack Roethlisberger here. I'm not. He's obviously done all that he's can to run his name through the dirt and establish the best of relationships with betches everywhere. But he's clearly making a savvy and smart career choice; he's nearing his thirties, he's been by no means ever been a looker, does he want to continue to chase middle aged cocktail waitresses in Reno and rape coeds in Georgia? Big Ben has thought about this; and decided maybe, somewhere, there was some dumb betch who wasn't aware of his lengthy rapsheet.
Well, hello Ashley Harlan! I mean, I could just say she's a jersey chaser, looking to never put in a hard day's work, and just pop out some kids for the quarterback and posterboy for her favorite team, but I'm gonna really put this betch under the light. Not only does she actually believe that Roethlisberger thinks that she is "the one," but she's pulling some batshit born-again Christian mumbo-jumbo if she thinks that they both believe that pre-marital boning is not the way to go. Like, did Big Ben just tell her all of his womanizing was in the past, and she's was like, "Okay, let's get married. But, we can't bone until we're wed." And she trusts him not to nail or rape any sidecorn? I just hurt my own head thinking about this. Point is, this betch is the posterchild for gold-digging, naive, and just plain dumb betches. Let's just leave it at that.
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